#Trust30 Day 18 – Dreaming (again)

[Another #Trust30 post...For more information about why I’m writing them, click here].

Abide in the simple and noble regions of thy life, obey thy heart. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down your top three dreams. Now write down what’s holding you back from them. –Michael Rad

A lot of these prompts seem to have similar thoughts or messages. I have tried to come up with something a little different for each one to keep them interesting. Three of my top dreams are:

Number 1 – Take an around-the-world voyage, hitting six continents on one trip

There are a few different obstacles to this one. First, it is difficult to afford this type of a trip (although I have found many good ideas to make this type of travel much more affordable through the Travel Hacking Cartel). Second, planning the trip will be a headache. It is not easy to hit six continents at one time without a good plan. Third, to be worth it, a trip like this must be at least two months (three to six months would be better) and I find it difficult to imagine taking two young kids on such an adventure. This one might have to wait a couple years.

Number 2 – Have a second home somewhere on the Mediterranean

Again, the primary obstacle for this one is financial. However, I do not need to have some huge house to be satisfied, so this might be much more affordable than it appears. I envision a small apartment, just big enough for the family, with enough space for the occasional short-term visitor. We have a friend with a small apartment in Galicia that serves as a model for this dream. It is just a regular apartment, with a couple bedrooms and a small kitchen, but it made the perfect place for some rest and recovery one time when we badly needed it. There will also be some logistical issues that make this one difficult, but when the time comes, I expect to be able to overcome them.

Number 3 – Write a book

I already discussed this one in an earlier #Trust30 post, but I will repeat it anyway. The obstacles are the following: First, I need to overcome the resistance to sit down and outline the entire book so that I know what exactly I need to write. Second, I need to make the time to write it. I am working to overcome this one by setting a more regular writing schedule. In addition, I also need to make sure that I do the important work that is not urgent (see Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People for more explanation of that concept), so I need to make sure to keep the book as a priority. It is a big commitment and I need to follow through on it.

Weekly update: Like I thought it might be, this was a difficult week for writing about coffee. I even missed the Friday coffee links page (we’ll have “late links” this week). I have a few coffee articles in the works that I need to finish, but because there was no fixed deadline for them, I pushed them back to do other tasks (like #Trust30 posts). It looks to be a busy weekend.

#Trust30 Day 17 – Head in the Clouds

A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

My favorite quote of all time is Alan Kay: ‘In order to predict the future, you have to invent it.’ I am all about inventing the future. Decide what you want the future to be and make it happen. Because you can. Write about your future now. – Cindy Gallop

Here’s a snapshot from the future. It’s fun to dream.

I foresee a future full of many journeys and even more words. I see myself using words to paint pictures of soft summer sunsets and billowy clouds drifting lazily overhead as they resist the collective call of the people to go away(!) for the summer.

I see myself getting up at six in the morning and sauntering out to my balcony overlooking a quiet street in a seaside city. I quickly eat a light breakfast, then sit down to labor out a few thousand words before my brain needs a break. When the energy runs out, I stop, put the laptop away and take a short walk down the street to have a cup of coffee and read the paper. After an hour of relaxation, I head back to my perch on the balcony, where I would once again pick up the story. If words do not come, I take out a sheet of paper and a ballpoint pen and scribble out something—a new character, villainous and immoral, or a picturesque landscape, a place where the heroine could not help but be happy and beautiful.

With the mechanisms of creation turning out words once again, I spend several more hours developing these characters and the lives they lead. They have become dear to me, and they would be dear to others too, if only they knew them as well as I do.

They say a good length for a first novel is around 100,000 words. That sounds like a lot, but really it is very few, especially if you want people to know how much life your characters have.

I will write—and will not stop writing—until the words which have built up inside me for so many years have run out. It might not be in my lifetime, for there were many years when I watched and listened and said very little.

I will write to solidify my own thoughts and perspectives, which slowly shift like the ground over a sunken spring.

I will learn to write without using too much alliteration.

When I am tired, I will be careful not to write too much, for the words tend to ramble on without direction.

I will not be afraid to try new things, even if they might not be understood by everyone.

And I will never forget to somehow tie the end to the beginning, even when there appears to be no strong bond between the two.

Click. The shutter is closed.

Trust30 Day 13 – Surprise yourself

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I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself.  How will you surprise yourself this week?” –Ashley Ambirge

This question brings back a memory of a time during my sophomore year at college when I had gotten a little behind in my classes. I was still passing all of them, but was struggling to keep up with the material and assignments. It seemed like everything I did was at the last minute and all of my assignments were being finished just in time (JIT). JIT is a good system if you are a manufacturer, but not if you are a student.

I specifically remember one Sunday when I  had to write a paper that was due the next day. I hadn’t even started the research, and I remember thinking there was no way I was going to get it done. At that time, I didn’t write as much as I do now, so I was really slow. It took me forever to write anything and because I was slow, I didn’t like writing. Sitting there staring at a page was intimidating and I hated it.

If I could have, I probably would have put off working on the paper for another day, but there was no way out of it. The paper was due the next day and the teacher wasn’t taking late assignments.

Shortly after lunch, I drove my car to the library. I drove slowly, dreading the next several hours and thinking of how I would be imprisoned in the library all afternoon. To make matters worse, it was a beautiful spring day with lots of sunshine. Warm spring days were a rarity in Pullman, so it was doubly depressing to be headed for the library. There was no way around it though, so into the library I went.

The paper came together gradually, but it wasn’t easy. Around midnight, I went to the computer lab to type the paper. I was nearly finished at 1:00am when my computer froze. My heart did too. Oh, no. I didn’t have it backed up on a disk either. I buried my face in my hands. All of that work—down the drain. A tangle of nausea grew inside my stomach. I was already exhausted and ready to go home and get some sleep. The deep sense of dread grew stronger as I hit the reset button on the machine.

Miraculously (and I mean miraculously), when the computer restarted, my paper reappeared too. It was just sitting on the screen as if nothing had happened. If you had been watching me, you probably would have seen a look of complete disbelief pass over my face before tears of joy filled my eyes. Talk about relief!

I quickly backed the file up, not wanting a repeat of the heart-stopping drama. Half an hour later, I finished the last few edits and printed it out. It wasn’t the best paper in the history of my time at Washington State, but in my mind, it was certainly one of the most memorable. Although the incident did not help me break away from my JIT system, I did come away with a new confidence that I could pull together something at the last minute if I had to, which was a pretty good lesson to learn.

[This week, with visitors coming into town for a few days, I’m going to surprise myself if I get three good articles written for the blog in addition to these #Trust30 posts. Check back to see how it goes.] 

#Trust30 - Day 8 - A look back

[To find out why I am writing all these #Trust30 posts, click here]

The prompt:

What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years? - Corbett Barr

Before I start answering, could I talk to the person from 10 or 15 years ago too?

I try to not look back on things too much, because looking back like that can fill your mind with too many ifs, as in “if only I had….” You can see all of the mistakes you made and what you could have done differently. Five years ago, I was living in Boston, trying to figure out my new job requirements at Starbucks. It was the first time I had worked in customer service, and it opened my eyes about service jobs. Fortunately, I had a great group of people to work with and it was a great experience (everyone should have to work in food service at some point in their lives. It would give us all a lesson on how to treat others. For the most part, the customers were great, but there were those who—to be nice—weren’t. They had forgotten that baristas (or waiters, waitresses, bartenders, etc.) are there to serve them, not be their servants. It is a huge difference).

There are definitely a few things I would say to that me. I would tell that other self that when life throws you a curve, don’t panic. Don’t get in any rush to change what you are doing. You can figure it out. Go after your dreams with everything you have and ask others for help when you need it, because people are willing to help you, if they know you want it. If you don’t ask, they won’t know.

And to the person I am in five years:

I persevered, and succeeded.

[Question: Do you think it is valuable to look back at your life in this way? Does it help you figure out where you are going today?]

#Trust30-Day 6

Today’s prompt, from Jonathan Mead:

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?

Another “time is short” prompt…Hopefully, we’ll get a little more variety this week. These type of questions do give you an opportunity to reflect, but I’m ready for a change in topic.

To answer the first question—no. Of course I would do something different. Wouldn’t everyone, really?

If I knew I was dying in seven days, I would spend the whole week writing every lesson I have learned about life down along with every bit of advice I could think of to give to my kids. They could take it or leave it, but at least someday they would be able to see what their dad might think about some situation that came up. Other than that I would just spend the last week saying goodbye to friends and family.

The second question is unclear. I’m skipping it. If I figure out what it means, perhaps I’ll revisit it later.

For the bonus question:

Goals, if they align with what you like to do, will help you direct your energies each day. If you work daily towards reaching those goals, just putting in the work will improve the present. It is the process of work that is important. You can feel better just by knowing that you dedicated yourself to your craft for that day.

[For an overview of what #Trust30 is, click here]

#Trust30 Day 3

[For an overview of what #Trust30 is, click here]

The prompt for day 3:

“The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?” – Buster Benson

Yikes. Now we’re getting personal. Who was it again that accepted this challenge? Oh, yeah, that was me. By nature, I’m a private person—so these questions are pushing me a little beyond my comfort zone. On the other hand, I have written a quite a few personal stories on the blog over the last ten months, so maybe the vision I have of myself is a little outdated. Besides, sharing yourself with other people is what makes life worth it, right?

Just so you know, Resistance (from The War of Art) is winning today. The whole day has been a struggle to be optimistic, to feel good and to get anything done. This post is no different. Now, where should I start?

[Pause…]

After some thought, I think I have a topic. I considered writing about several different topics—legalizing drugs, immigration reform, the role of the US in the world, gay marriage—these are all topics where I differ from a lot of my friends, but I haven’t done much to actively try to change the world or other people’s opinions and attitudes about them.  I haven’t ‘actively lived’ them, so to speak. Finally, this is what I came up with:

Certainty and security do not substitute for experiencing life.

People, in general, like to take the “safe” route in life. They want to work for a good company, go to their jobs every day and be paid a nice salary that keeps a roof over their heads. They are looking for a comfortable life.  This can be a great way to go through life (assuming you don’t get caught up in a Great Recession and thrown out of your job, like so many have been over the last few years), and there are definitely times when I look at others’ lives and think I should try to do the same thing.

Usually, though, the thought of taking the safe route is disheartening. You put in your time as a cog in a corporate machine, wasting away and paying for someone else’s dream. I imagine getting on the phone with a supplier in China and trying to bargain over two cents on 50 different cables for some product that people don’t need in the first place and I think to myself, “should I settle for a life like that? Is that all I was meant to do in life?” The answer invariably comes back a resounding no.

You might ask, what I am doing to avoid that type of life? How am I going to put food on the table for myself and my family? That’s a difficult question and I’m still trying to figure out exactly what the answer is.

I will say, though, that I started this blog because I think there is something better out there. I am writing daily, to build my skills as an interviewer and storyteller, to learn as much as I can about the world and share it with others. I write and I write and I write, because at some point, the work is going to pay off. On many levels, it already has. I may not have the certainty and security in my life as I would have at a traditional job, but I have some great experiences to reflect on that I would not change for the world. And that, dear reader, is what I am doing to ‘live it.’

[Wow. I don’t know if that makes any sense or not, but I’m shipping it just the same. With a pounding head and a burning throat, I bid you good night.]